Friday Afternoon Grab Bag

Goofy movie mash-up.

Sesame Slayer.

Ride On.

A Borowitz Report

I get an email now and then called The Borowitz Report. Here’s a good one:

Decision to Stop Making Hummers Saddens Assholes
Douchebags Seek New Way to Compensate for Tiny Penises

DETROIT (The Borowitz Report) – General Motors’ decision yesterday to stop manufacturing Hummers has struck at the heart of the group who loved the vehicles most: America’s assholes.

Across the nation, leading assholes spoke of a sense of loss and sadness caused by the decision, and suggested that they would now be searching for new ways to compensate for their small penises.

Tracy Klugian, a realtor in Tempe, Arizona, said that he would consider buying a boat with an annoyingly loud sound system, “but it just won’t say ‘asshole’ like a Hummer does.”

Mr. Klugian, whose penis has been described as “microscopic,” also questioned the timing of GM’s decision.

“Right now, the Hummer is the only thing on the road capable of stopping a Toyota,” he said.

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Guess.....

....what's Sunday.

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Cool

From http://www.mikegiant.com/

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Friday Afternoon Grab Bag

Stop motion.

TV1: Beach from sixty40 on Vimeo.

Sully bringing it in.

Ride On.

As Heard On Thee Most Recent Coffee & Donut Ride

So, there we were, about one half (1/2) way through last weekend’s FAB Coffee & Donut ride, ordering up at the counter at Michelle’s. Seventy five percent (75%) of the rollers on the ride did order the biscuits and gravy, but I digress.

Anyway, we were ordering when the chick taking the order asked me, “Now what’s your name? I forget.”

Larry. But with one (1) "R", an "I", an "E", and a "Y". The "B" at the end is silent.

She was not amused. But, the biscuits and gravy were great!


Ride On.

Vintage

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A Couple O’ Options

I’m still lamenting not being in this year’s Leadville Trail 100 mountain bike race. But, being one (1) to light a candle other than curse my darkness, I’m thinking about options. Thanks for the suggestions, Compadres. Those have me thinking as well.

I’d mentioned the Highway 212 Gut Check as one (1) option. As I mentioned it, I was thinking to myself, “Been there, done that.” However, I’ve not done the “Hell and Back” option.

For those not in the know, the “Hell and Back” option is riding from Minnesota to Wyoming and then back to Minnesota, all along US Highway 212 in South Dakota in ninety-six (96) hours. That’s a pretty good challenge. But, what could make it even more challenging?

Why riding to the ride of course! And, doing the whole thing unsupported. I think that might require a step-ladder to set the bar that high. Thinking about it, this is so crazy is just might work!

I’ll need a new bike. I was planning on building one (1) for things like this anyway. I’ll have to have nutrition dialed in pretty exact. I’ll need more / additional gear. I’m thinking maybe a very light weight tent and sleeping bag, racks and panniers, etc.

I’ll need training rides. Lots and far. I like those. The more I think about it as I type this drivel, the more I like it. Hmmm…..


Ride On.

Piss, Fuck, Shit

I was not selected, outright, to be in the Leadville Trail 100 bicycle race this year. I got this:

Dear Leadville Trail 100 Family,

We deeply regret that we were unable to accept your application into
the 2010 Leadville Trail 100 Mountain Bike Race. We really wish we
could accommodate every interested rider, but we simply can’t. Our
goal and primary obligation is to offer every racer the nation’s
highest quality athletic experience with the utmost degree of safety,
medical care and racer support. The ever increasing numbers of
returning racers and new applicants are testimony we are meeting our
goal. We do not keep a waiting list and cannot yet accept entries for
2011…..

Further down in the body of the email was a note saying to contact Carmichael Training Systems to get into one (1) of three (3) training camps to still get into this year’s Leadville 100 race.

Evidently, if you get into the camp, pay your twelve-hundred ($1200+) plus dollars, they’ll let you into the Leadville 100 – at no additional cost! They (they being the Carmichael types) were only taking registrations by phone and only starting at 9 AM mountain time on February, 15th.

At 9 AM mountain time I began my quest to reach someone at Carmichael. Fifty-three (53) minutes of dialing and redialing later I got a recording saying, “we sold the fuck out.” Or something like that.

After being bummed, I called back and left a message to see if there’s such a thing as a waiting list for the camps. I wonder if I’ll even get a phone call back.

Being the pissed off, disappointed, hard-headed, hot-headed, person I am, it makes me think they’ve got quite the scam going here. Well son-of-a-bitch, you didn’t make it into the race BUT we’ll take $1,200 off you (in a guaranteed sell-out camp) to let you in anyway.

Today, I’m disillusioned. Tomorrow, I’ll mark my calendar to get my name in for 2011.

So that leaves me with, “now what?” The Highway 212 Gut Check is that same weekend. I could do that, I suppose. I could plan to go to Colorado anyway and do the other route of the San Juan Hut to Hut ride. I could stay home and dig trail.

Leadville was to be my big motivator to get my ass in condition to survive the rigors of the race. Now I’m searching for something to provide similar motivation. Any ideas???


Ride On.

Friday Afternoon Grab Bag

The human brain demystified.

Pringle (nothing to do with potato chips) of Scotland ad.

Ride On.

Mistress Of Pain

I had my first (1st) appointment with Thee Mistress of Pain at a local orthopedic fixer upper place. My second (2nd) is later today.


Day one (1) went pretty well. The chick pulled on my arm, bent it in ways that hurt pretty good, manipulated the joint, and got me another take home exercise to do. In addition, she took some baseline measurements to compare progress.

As she urged my arm to bend in painful ways I asked her questions regarding how long this was going to take. Fortunately she’s quite experienced with shoulder fixing. She indicated it could be as quick as one (1) month (that’s quick?) or upwards of four (4) months to regain full range-of-motion. This, I can deal with.

There are things coming up and I’d prefer to get this handled sooner rather than later. That being said, I’ve instructed Thee Mistress of Pain to be “aggressive.” I’d like this to be pretty much done in one (1) month and not four (4).


Ride On.

No Word, Built Wheels

I haven’t heard on the Leadville 100 yet. I quick glance at the website and it says they’ll notify dudes by the end of this week. The suspense builds.

Speaking of building, I laced up and provided truth to my hubs, rims, and spokes for my pending 29’er single speed mountain bike. I don’t know what it is about building wheels but I find it very enjoyable.


Ride On.

Good News, Bad News

I went to the Orthopedic dude last Friday. The good news is I don’t have anything wrong with my rotator cuff(s). The bad news is I have something call Adhesive Capulitis. Another name for it is “frozen shoulder.”

The good news is there is nothing I’m restricted from doing. The bad news is I need some therapy that’s supposed to be painful to get things back to normal. I have some home stretches to do. In addition, three (3) days per week, I go in to have some chick crank on my shoulder.

The chick isn’t so big but we’ll see what she can do. Her name is Megan. I’m going to call her “Megan, Mistress of Pain.” I’m sure she’ll be happy with that Snakebite affixed moniker. I think I’m headed for a special kind of pain cave.

In other noise, sometime today I’m supposed to find out if I’ve had my name drawn to be in the Leadville Trail 100 mountain bike race. I’ll provide the low-down on that tomorrow.


Ride On.

Friday Afternoon Grab Bag

It’s a commercial, but, pretty cool.

Surprise ending.

Get Out
by Esma-Movie

Ride On.

D.I.Y. Fail

Sometime last summer I did something to my shoulder. I can’t put my finger on any one incident that I can attribute the something. What I know is my shoulder alternates between feeling pretty good and hurting like hell. If I bend my arm a certain way it causes shooting pain. Sometimes it keeps me up at night. Luckily, I still have some Vicodin left over from the kidney stone issue.

Doing internets research and asking a doctor via email, I’d concluded I had an impinged rotator cuff. To remedy things I’ve used ice to reduce the inflammation and backed off weight lifting for a month. I’ve tried to not aggravate it, but things are not getting better.

I did attempt a self prescribed scapular stabilization program. I admit I was pretty intermittent with that. With the Vicodin running low and “bike season” creeping up, I’ve made an appointment with an orthopedic type. Friday, late morning, I should know what’s going on and what’s the best way to fix it.

Whatever the fix is, I hope it’s easy and quick. I’m not good at being patient during recovery periods. Anticipating, I’m ready to press for explicit dos and don’ts and how far can I push these types of things.


Ride On.

Blood Run Future

Recently our Governor suggested a new State Park near here would be a good idea. The Blood Run area is his target. As soon as I learned this was in the works, I fired an email off to him.

I suggested FAST (Falls Area SingleTrack) could design and build singletrack within this new park. His response is below – click for big(ger).



This puts some indirect pressure on FAST concerning our Leaders’ Park project. We will point to this project as an example of what we are capable of. Therefore, it damn well better be good.

In our part of the state there are no mountain bike specific trails. The trails in the closest State Parks are multi use. And by multi use I mean horses on some. Also, I find some of the design questionable.

Now I am far, far short on being the world’s foremost authority on designing and building trails. But, I do know a sustainable trail should not have water bars or areas where water is allowed to pond on the trails.

I am very hopeful FAST will be invited to discuss this proposed new State Park when the time comes. I believe we have much to offer. In this instance, providing sustainable singletrack, in a great area, at zero (0) cost to the tax payers. If that isn’t win-win, I don’t know what is.


Ride On.